* * *
Reaching the end of a job interview, the Human Resources person asked the young MBA fresh out of MIT, "And what starting salary were you looking for?" The candidate said, "In the neighborhood of $125,000 a year, depending on the benefits package." The HR person said, "Well, what would you say to a package of 5 weeks vacation, 14 paid holidays, full medical and dental, company matching retirement fund to 50% of salary and a company car leased every 2 years - say, a red Corvette?" The MBA sat up straight and said, "Wow!!! Are you kidding?" And the HR person said, "Certainly, ... but you started it."
* * *
A customer was bothering the waiter in a restaurant. First, he asked that the air conditioning be turned up because he was too hot, then he asked it be turned down because he was too cold, and so on for about half an hour. Surprisingly, the waiter was very patient, he walked back and forth and never once got angry. So finally, a second customer asked him why he didn't throw out the pest. "Oh I don't care," said the waiter with a smile. "We don't even have an air conditioner."
* * *
"Waiter, there's a fly swimming in my soup."
"So what do you expect me to do - call a lifeguard?"
* * *
"Waiter, your thumb's in my soup!"
"That's all right, madame, it's not hot."
* * *
"Waiter, there's a button in my soup."
"Oh, thank-you, sir. I've been looking for that everywhere."